Just Keep The Change

Why You Should Move On Instead of Wanting Her Back

Posted: 26 Jan 2012 02:17 PM PST

How to win back an ex girlfriend

Note from Alex: This is taken from my ebook The Ex-Girlfrend Solution. It helps to lay the foundation for the rest of my teachings by discussing how getting over an ex before getting back together with her can actually be very beneficial to both you and her.

It is almost impossible for me to count the amount of guys I have spoken to about their ex-girlfriends over the years, but it sure is a lot. If I should do a recap, the theme that has occurred the most is this:

Girl dumps Guy, Guy is confused, Girl is equally confused so she keeps calling him, Guy misinterprets the calls and wants her back, Girl finds someone new and Guy is hurt all over again.

This happens very often, and it is a terrible situation. The situation has many variations, but it usually ends the same way. And the worst part of it all is that the man in this has absolutely no power and no control. The girl is in charge, and the man is left to be her marionette puppet.

Don’t make the same mistakes

The reason that I am telling you this is because I don't want you to make the same mistake as so many have done before you. If you’re in a break-up right now, I don't want you to sit around the phone, waiting for her call, focusing your every thought on her for the next few weeks or even months.

Instead, I want you to enjoy your life and tackle this situation as smoothly as you can. I want you to feel hurt if you're hurt, I want you to be sad if you're sad, but I also want to help you move forward and become a better man in the end.

You have to put in the work

That process will only become drawn out if you don't work hard right from the beginning on getting over her. Let me elaborate:

The number one reason that most guys want their ex-girlfriends back is because they are scared of the unknown territory that they are getting into if they are left lonely. Most guys are terrified that they won't find someone as good as her again, or that they are not good enough to get a new girlfriend.

Not everybody knows this about themselves, but when you dig deep enough, that's usually the underlying reason.

The only reason for wanting to get back together with your ex that I can truly accept is this: You have to be better for each other when you are together than when you are apart. But to come to that realization takes a lot of soul-searching.

It’s not easy. And the best way to do find out for sure is to actually, even though it may sound counterproductive, get over her first.

If you can eliminate the emotional factor in the decision, you will stand a much better chance to look at it in an objective way.

And on top of that, if you decide in the end that you were better together and you decide to give it another try, you will have grown considerably from the process and maybe even got rid of the behaviour that landed you in this situation in the first place.

A break-up is not neccessarily a bad thing

So, even though it may be a twisted thought-chain, I actually think that you can view your break-up as something beneficial and beautiful. You can see it as a chance for you to figure out what you really want, and a chance for you to grow, both as a man and as a person.

If you are able to get over her, yet still manage to fall in love with her again, your relationship will be stronger and healthier than ever.

The break-up gives you the chance to see that she may not be the woman of your dreams. You get to look through the fog and see her (and yourself, for that matter!) for who she really is.

Note from Alex: If you liked this chapter from my ebook, I am sure that you will also find the other chapters at least as useful. Go check out The Ex-Girlfriend-Solution now!

Image by Celeste

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Friday 27 January 2012