Just Keep The Change

What To Do When a Girl Doesn’t Respond to Your Text

Posted: 11 May 2012 08:00 AM PDT

Is she going to reply, or not?

The situation is all too common. You have been having some contact with a girl that you like and you're texting each other. Everything seems to be good, until suddenly it seems like she doesn't respond anymore or if she does, she only replies in short sentences and only once in a while.

This post is not meant to fix the situation or to make her reply more often. No, this post is about you and about what you should do when a girl doesn't respond to your text.

The first thing I want you to do is to take a look at yourself and ask what the problem really is. Do you get insecure because you think that she doesn't like you anymore? Do you feel regret because you think that you wrote her something wrong?

If any of these sound just a little bit like you, I think I have the solution.

My opinion on texting

In my opinion, texting girls can be an absolutely fun and great thing to do. I see it as very possible to both make a girl smile over a text, to invite her out over a text and to thank her for the evening over a text.

My only problem with texts is just that a lot of people seem to text instead of actually being together, and to thereby replace real interaction and conversation with a few words on a screen.

So when we're talking about texting, we have to keep your objective in mind. If you don't really know what you're doing and don't have a clear plan in your head (or at least something that reminds of it), think about that first.

Are you texting this girl because you want to invite her out? If so, why don't you just call her up and invite her out? Or are you texting her because you don't know if she likes you enough for her to yes if you would invite her out? Well, take a chance, call her up and spare both you and her all the unnecessary texts.

I totally understand flirting over text messages, but I have also seen one to many times that flirting has led to absolutely nothing… But her not replying.

Female mentality

See, most women (and people in general) will feel that anything new is interesting. If you met a girl and you're now texting her, you're still new and haven't screwed up anything yet. That's great. So don't let it slip out in the sand by not taking any kind of action (like inviting her to something that will let you become closer)

Because if you don't, she will probably become bored. And because of your missing ability to take action, she will probably also lose respect for you. And a mixture of those two things can lead to her stopping replying to your texts.

What to do when she doesn't respond

So what you need to do when a girl doesn't respond to your text is first of all to sit down and think about why you're texting her in the first place. If it is to gain something concrete, like a date, be sure that your texts have been guiding you to that goal. If they haven't, you have to learn from it and do it better next time or start doing it right now.

If she doesn't reply, my advice is to call her up or text her one more time commenting her absence. But don't make it sound like your life depends on whether or not she replies – because it doesn't, right?

Simply write something like "Hey, Kate, I'll try again since it doesn't seem like you got my text, or perhaps I didn't get your reply. You can't trust technology… But to get to the point; are you up for a cozy night this Friday?"

And then if she still doesn't reply, that makes the situation really easy. Either she is plain rude, or she doesn't like you that much. Both make it incredibly easy for you to forget about her and find someone nicer who also likes you better. To me, that's a win-win.

But it all depends on the last text she didn't reply to

When all that is said, there is one thing that I find is very important to add. If she didn't reply to some text that she didn't need to reply to, waiting for a reply is a plain waste of time. Don't put too much thought into it, because when it all comes down, a text is just a text.

Sometimes she didn't get it. Sometimes you didn't get the reply. Sometimes she didn't have the time to reply when she saw it and forgot about it. Sometimes she didn't feel like it needed a reply. Sometimes she is just a woman and therefore unexplainable.

The last words

So in short, if you have a question that needs answering, call her up – that's your safest bet. Or if you see her in real life, that's even better. Just ask her whatever you wanted to ask her face to face.

Even though it may sound harsh, waiting for replies to text messages is rather immature, and it sure as hell doesn't help anything. Instead, my advice is to take action and do something about it instead of sitting around all day waiting.

But maybe it's just me. What's your thoughts about the matter? Do you have any strategies for waiting for text message replies? Feel more than free to share them in the comments!

Image by Moritz Petersen.

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Saturday 12 May 2012