Just Keep The Change

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6 Things I’ve Learned About Women and Life in the Past 3 Years Posted: 11 Oct 2010 02:31 AM PDT During the last three years I have learned a lot. Looking back, I am a much happier man today than I was back then. My journey has been long, and yet I am still travelling. That is the beauty of life. Today I want to share with you six of the things that I have learned. Apply what you feel fit, and I am sure that it will make a profound change in your life. First of all… Pick her with care Choosing the right woman to be with is perhaps the most important task of all. A mistake I see guys making all the time is settling. I know you don't, but a lot of guys do. The scenario looks something like this: guy talks with a couple of different girls, maybe even takes them on dates. He kinda likes four of them, two of them are a little more interesting. Time passes and he ends up with one of the interesting one's. What went wrong is that he actually liked a girl better right from the start – he just didn't go out with her at all. So my advice is this: see as many girls as you like, I won't comment on that (just yet…) but don't pick a girl out from your options, that way you are definitely settling. Pick a girl that you know does something for you in a real way. She challenges you, makes you think, and even though it sounds cliché, makes you want to be a better man. These are the real keepers, son. Find yourself a girl like this, and no matter what you go through with her, no matter what happens, in your heart you will know that it was all worth it. Trust your instincts and listen to yourself This one is absolutely critical to everything else. For you to be a strong, healthy and happy man, you must learn how to trust yourself and follow your instincts. You have to develop a trust in your abilities, and you have to be honest about them. Whenever you're in doubt, take a time-out and think it over. Really listen to your thoughts, and at the same time, know that your thoughts are just that – thoughts. They are not you. The concept of you is something much deeper. Get to know that person well, and you will always do what is best for you. You made the right decision Don't spend time regretting things you can't change, and don't spend time thinking and being nervous about things you don't have an influence over (like whether or not that chick will write you back.) Either you wait and let fate do what it does, or you write/call her again and do something about it. There's nothing in between. Accept it or do something about it. Everything else is bullshit. I’ve written an article on the subject here: You made the right decision. Change her mood, not her mind This one is probably the most important one directly relating to your relating to women. You have to learn how the mind of a woman works. Not completely – that's crazy impossible. But just enough so that you know how to handle her. I like to see the role and the mission of the man as responsible for opening her up whenever she is closing down. So when your woman starts getting 'closed down'; angry, sad, irritated, confused etc., it's your job to open her up again! Instead of reacting to her negative emotions by mirroring them in some degree, maintain your posture and keep your good spirits. Tell her that it's all going to be O.K, dance with her, hug her, tell her that she is the cutest thing in the world or lift her up and spin her around. But be careful at the same time. Sometimes she just needs some time alone – your skill in this area may not be great enough to help her at the given time. And if you can't help her through these things at all – ponder the question: why are you even together? If you can't make each other's lives easier and happier, is there a point? Appreciate your alone time and do something with it I don't know about you, but too much social activity can make me want to take some time for myself to recover and get back my energy, so to say. It's important to be able to relax all by yourself. I don't care if it's meditation, playing guitar, reading, playing computer games, drawing or something entirely different. But I think it's important to have something to come back to that you enjoy doing all by yourself, and that helps you regain your energy whenever you need it. Learn to love everything about her If you have decided on a girl, and you are sure that she is right for you, you have to accept every little bit of her. You can’t change her, so no matter what she looks like, no matter what you would have liked different, learn to love it. Those cute lips, that freckle, her beautiful back… Kiss every little part of her, and accept her fully. What you can’t change you must learn to love – there is no point in anything else. Let me know what you think in the comments, and please, share some hard earned wisdom too! :-) Image by Trey Ratcliffe.

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